My Cancer Journey

Well, I just completed my 6th Chemo treatment. I’m half way done with my treatments. I was told by a friend to celebrate the halfway point. I’m trying to keep positive. Sometimes, I feel like I am totally alone. I am surrounded by friends and church family and still I feel all alone. I have started cleaning the house. It is a lot of work. Thank God for Kirsten and Bea. They have helped so much. I can’t even thank them enough. So many people have done so much it is hard to keep track. I have some Thank You letters to write. I’m glad that I have this little blog to write. It feels good to put it in writing.

I’m going to celebrate by going to Blair’s school concert tonight.

Christmas is coming.

Once again I am faced with a holiday and no gifts to give. I will have something for the kids but it just feels like not enough. I will struggle on, It seems that road blocks always pop up when struggling to complete the most menial of things. I will have to clean on my own and living in a house with hoarders makes that very difficult but it must be done. I need to find some strength I pray that God will give it to me and give me the thought process and the skills to get things done and to improve my life.

Life Stinketh

If it’s not bad enough to be a temporary employee. Being one that only works one day a week every other week must classify me as a new kind of looser! To top it all off I am now a broke loser waiting for my paycheck. No unemployment, no job, and no child support. I no longer know what to do with my idiotic self. What can I do to jump out of this mess. I need to get out of here. I need to work. I need my confidence back. I have so much to offer the world but feel so left out of things. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Busy Day!

K. It’s time to get up and get going. No bored children allowed. We are going to cook and clean and get ready for Christmas! Woot!

Sleepless Nights

I haven’t been able to sleep at night for days. I was wide awake when I heard the sound of someone going to the bathroom in the bed next to me. Stinking kid. I guess I should be glad it was the kid and not the dog. I’m so tired but my body hurts so bad it kills me to lay down. My back is killing me and my leg keeps going all nuts. I’m starting to think I have restless leg syndrome. I will give it another try in a minute. I get to work tomorrow for one day. I know it is mildly better than nothing but right now it feels like nothing.

Another Day Older…

I had a fantastic thanksgiving day.  I’m totally trapped by poverty right now and can’t begin to think what the heck I can do about it. I have no job. $1.01 is my checking account balance. I am literally going crazy. I could lay on the floor and cry but that won’t help me either. I feel like the worlds biggest loser. I can’t even get my son’s medicine because I don’t have gas for my car which also happens to be falling apart. That’s what is holding me back from getting his prescription. He is on ADD med. and it has to be a paper script taken to the pharmacy otherwise I can’t get it filled. Who ever thought of that law is an idiot. All it does is create more of a hard time for those honest idiots like me who never broke the rules in the first place! I really wonder about people sometimes.

So, here I sit typing away hoping that the internet connection will not be severed before I finish this. My blog is all about healing me. I’m hoping that if I can get this all off my chest and out of my system that I will free myself up for happier thoughts and success. I am tired of living like this. I don’t know what if anything I can do to change my situation besides getting a job which I have been so totally unsuccessful at. It just is amazing to me how hard you get kicked when you are down. How much more things cost when you are broken. How quick the grip of depression is with just a little bit of sadness to hold onto. It seems so daunting a task to wake up in the morning and move. I just don’t know anymore, how much I can take.  I am sitting here struggling to fill out forms for DHS. I am hoping to possibly get some help with housing and to get some kind of something going for me and the kids plus Ozzy.

My Turkey Day

Just getting ready to join my best friend and her family for Thanksgiving dinner. It stinks that my family has fallen so far apart that we no longer get together. I am so thankful for my friend and her family. They keep me laughing and bring such joy to our lives. I’ve decided to create this blog so that I can document my uneventful life. It’s not that nothing every happens to me its that the good things that I’ve worked so hard to attain always seem just out of reach.

Had to add this pic of my favorite Angry Bird and Little Monster on Halloween 11′.